So this JUST happened. Nothing bad, just amusing.
I went to the laundromat across the street to get the load I was running, and I’m walking back down the alley to my place. It’s the city, there’s a lot of people around. I just took a shower and I’m not dressed up fancy or anything but I at least fixed my hair and I’m just wearing a cami and jeans ’cause laundry. Not exactly trying to look feminine or anything.
This dude was crossing the street right behind me, and he’s trying to read me, but he isn’t sure. This happens. It isn’t relevant what sort of man this was. I know the confused look, a lot of people have done it. Can’t figure me out, and people get like, super confused and they have to *know*. It’s like Pat on SNL if you remember it. A lot of people are very uncomfortable unless they can categorize you.
Don’t worry, mother. The alley and a stranger is rightly disconcerting as a combination. But I’m not exactly tiny. I also became quite good at identifying violent intent in high school. Plus, it’s daylight and there’s quite a few people around. So my safety is not a huge concern at this point.
I walk into our gated lot, and I’m closing the sliding gate on it when I notice him still there. He walks up to the fence and says, “Excuse me, this might be embarrassing, but, are you a girl?” And all I can do is grin.
There’s a fence between us, and he was polite about it, so I answer him honestly, that I’m transgender, and I identify as female and I say this jokingly, “I’m working on it.”
He nods slightly with understanding, and says something I can’t really hear over a car passing nearby about, I think attractiveness?
This is happening more often. I don’t think I pass most of the time. For now, I’ll take it as a compliment. I figure, I must be doing something right.
Was going to leave it there and I just thought of this. I’m sure in a lot of other cases, this dude would have just catcalled or ignored me or something perhaps worse. I tripped him up and interrupted that. Not sure how I feel about that aspect of it. I do appreciate that in this case, this stranger was at least conscious enough of the imposition to try and be polite. That’s unusual.
It’s continually strange, having seen life from many perspectives. Not many get the unique perspective of being treated at different times in different ways across the gender spectrum. I still have the ability to pick up and put down some of my privilege here. I’m considering a lot lately, what exactly I think about that.
I have no conclusions. All I can say is what this usually comes down to: treat everyone equally. Don’t be a dick. Try to love your neighbor. That’s all I got.